Day Two - It's beginning to kick in, Ted

Let's see, it's exactly 6:35PM as I type this, I am in the library working on my dissertation (and have been since 10AM this morning - kill me now) and I figured I should post something here before my head explodes. This is what I call a break.

It's day two of this mad diet and I am feeling...light, as in light-headed and light around the waist. It probably sounds crazy, but I swear these drainpipes are looser on me than they were before. Maybe I just haven't washed them in a while, I don't know. But for now, I'm going to assume it's because the weight is dropping off me (which it probably isn't). O told me today that you burn off an apple while you're eating and digesting it, which means I'm probably not getting any nutrition whatsoever this week (apart from the vitamins in the juice, and the water which helps keep me running too, of course). O has been a serial dieter for years, much like myself (and D too, I think).

I've hated my figure for as long as I can remember, since I was a teenager probably. I've always been boyish and short, which means small boobs, small bum. Most women would love that, but I have also been trying to shift weight from my thighs and middle for the greater part of my life. I have tried EVERYTHING. I starved my way from the ages of 14-18 but, of course, it came back even worse. It took a major turning point in my life, around the age of 20, for me to change my ways and start doing things properly. These days, I do at least an hour of cardio a day, I eat a hell of a lot of protein and drink litres and litres of water. I indulge sometimes, too (which is why I'm definitely not a size zero). I love chocolate, I love pizza, I love going out to dinner with all of my friends...shit this is making me hungry... Where was I? Oh yes! I've lost a whopping two stone since my first year of college, almost a stone of which I lost while on Erasmus in Germany (while doing mad aerobics classes for 90 mins, three nights a week). I think I'm happy now, but I'm not quite sure. If I ever get sick of working out, I'll stop. But for now, it keeps my head and heart clear and my waist (relatively) small.

So! Day one of this diet was pretty crap. I felt very weak and had dreadful headaches. The apples were delicious when I got to those stages of being almost sick with hunger, but the thought of one afterwards was disgusting. I had to interview a couple of cute teenage girls in a Mc Donalds in Bray too, which wasn't fun. I don't even like Mc Donalds. I had it at midnight with some buds after the WWE Raw show a few weeks back, but only because it felt like the right thing to do after a night of screaming at wrestlers. Usually I despise it, but last night I wanted it more than anything.

I woke up this morning feeling fine, although I went to bed with an aching tummy. I had an apple and some apple juice for breakfast, but once again I was hungry before I even got to college. It was midday before I ate another apple (through some miracle). And then four before I had another (although it turned out to taste awful and have weird crunchy bits in it so I only ate half). Now, I'm on my second juice of the day - orange and Alphonso (say what?) mango from M&S. The dude who works at the express checkout there thinks I'm anorexic - he asked me this morning why I think lunch should only consist of juice...

So, anyway, I'm feeling okay. I'm a bit weak, but at least I missed my mother's delicious Tuesday dinner (pesto pasta with garlic bread and chicken caesar salad on the side - yuuuuum!). I'm trying to distract myself, but I've been thinking about food all day. I have cravings for food I don't even like - beef, for example, and beetroots (not together, although right now even that sounds yummy). I want pasta, Subway, BK, pizza, chicken caesar salad, fried chicken, Butler's hot chocolate, an M&S tuna sandwich, sushi, chocolate...oh god, chocolate would be so good...

I'm off now to fantasise about all of the delicious foods that I cannot have. Gah!