Day Three - Apples are no longer appetising

So it's day three, which is supposed to be the worst day of this diet (or most diets, I guess). Today, in general, was pretty tough but I'm not sure exactly how much of that I would attribute to my being on a diet..

I finished up my dissertation this afternoon and rushed it down to the binding place almost on time. This required sitting in the library from 10AM until just after 4PM, while running back and forth printing chapters and desperately hoping the printer didn't die on me. I had planned on printing everything off at home last night, but my mother couldn't get an ink cartridge anywhere and I didn't have the time or energy to pick one up for myself. It was a hard slog, made even harder by the fact that I had nothing to eat all day besides an apple. I should have eaten two, but the second one just looked so disgusting that I couldn't force myself to eat it. Anyway, it's all done and dusted now. Nine months of work that may amount to everything or nothing depending on how well my research holds up.

But back to the diet! I've neglected to mention until now that a rather amusing side effect is that I have to go to the toilet practically ever hour. Today, I chose not to do so until about 5PM and I paid for it with ridiculous stomach cramps and bloating. I had a bottle of juice for dinner and was made fun of by someone eating a packet of Skips (an evil, evil man with a lovely plaid shirt). These past few days, every time I've been speaking to somebody and he/she has started to mention something about food or eating, he/she always cuts off in mid-sentence and then looks away very ashamdely, like "Oh god I'm so hun- Oh..." or "I just had dinner, I'm sooo fu- Oh..." It's pretty funny, and strangely enough, it doesn't make me think of food. Everything else makes me think of food. I was standing at the bus stop this evening and I swear I could smell the packet of crisps that the guy next to me was eating. It was so bad I wanted to lick his fingers (okay not that bad, but it was still awful). What's even stranger, is that I rarely even eat crisps. I have the odd packet (or tube of Pringles, ahem) here and there, but I wouldn't usually be standing at the bus stop eating some. So why did I feel like I should be!?

I don't feel weak, but I'm not particularly energised either. That may have a lot to do with the amount of work I've been doing this past couple of weeks, but it definitely isn't helped by the fact that I'm living off...well...apples. Urgh...even writing the word makes me feel ill. I don't know whether it's the fact that the apples my mother bought for me are disgusting, or because they're all I'm eating, I'm really sick of them, but either way I can barely stand the thought of one. I have to wait until I'm starving, but then directly afterwards I feel sick again.

I'm beginning to wonder why the hell anybody would put his/her body through this torture. I don't even think I've lost any weight! My mother tells me I'm like a walking skeleton, and that all of the colour has gone from my cheeks but she's been against this from the start (she takes it as an insult that I'm not eating her dinners this week). My boyfriend is against it too, but he hasn't seen me since Monday so he has no reason to complain (yet). Even so, he's encouraging me to stick with it, just for the laugh (yeah right). One of my best buds, Noodles, thinks I'm acting like a lunatic, while another, Dill, thinks I'm doing it out of some bizarre, hidden desire to lose weight. Both have offered to feed me once it's all over. Bless their hearts.

Oh god I miss eating...urgh... But I'm not hungry. This is so strange...